When Being A Mom Sucks

I always got in trouble for saying "that sucks" as a kid. I guess one great thing about being an adult is that I can say it all I want.

Sucks,
Sucks,
Sucks.
This sucks.
That sucks.
Suck-suck-suck.

Sometimes being a mom sucks. Now, don't get me wrong. The pros definitely out weight the cons, but there seems to be a rough patch that you hit an you wonder, "Can this get worse?". Mainly that's said when you're trying to operate on 3 hours of sleep and you still have your whole day ahead of you. Did you have a rough path on the way to conceiving? Was your pregnancy just unbearable? Did you go through 18 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing, just to have a C-Section when you weren't even completely numb? How can it get any worse, right? Does it get better? Then you hold that sweet little mini-you and everything is forgotten. It feels like just yesterday I was sitting in my hospital bad with my precious baby boy at my breast, crying with joy.
Fast forward to another scene: my 4.5 year old firecracker of a boy throwing his pencil AT my breasts and I, crying, because it's such a JOY dealing with the impossible at the end of a long work day. We had a terrible weekend. His "spunk" was "whacked" and I still honestly think it's the food. He had a sugar cookie Thursday in his lunch, Friday he had hot lunch at school and he had some of those conversation hearts. Saturday's lunch consisted of chicken nuggets and Sunday they had pizza again. I do have to say that I was really impressed that for the first time we did not order fries for the kids. We got them apples, baby carrots and ranch dressing. BOTH kids actually ate the APPLES and the CARROTS before they even touched their pizza! I was AMAZED. And I cannot tell you how great of a mother I felt to make such choices for my kids. I felt proud, dammit!

After the continued spunkiness on Sunday, I told Ryan that we had to call the doctor because Tyler just needs something. I'm not trying to just have a doctor throw drugs at us for an easy fix, but I feel in my gut that something else needs to be looked at. So on March 11 we are going back to the doctor. The office is sending us a packed of questions that we need to fill out and have all of his teachers fill out and send back before his appointment. The thing that I'm not looking forward to is going back to this doctor again. The last time that we brought Tyler in and discussed his behavior, the doctor totally blew us off. He made it sound like we weren't doing enough in the discipline department.

Hmmm, no other news to report. I have a nifty hat project that I'm really looking forward to starting. Ryan started working out. We're trying to "get healthy" I guess... See what California does to you?

Book I'm reading: Miss American Pie.
Music I'm listening to: One Republic, Colbie Caillat, Amy Winehouse.